Our dear kin folk's situation was worse, I'm sure, for them, in their hearts.

Because the situation, may have been foreseeable and correctable in advance.

And, looking back, there is a measure of blame that rests on all family members.

While some advice was given the young kinfolks, not enough. 

But, there is another way to view it, as will I discuss later.

Six years out of their parents home, and "on their own," we let them make their own way in life.

Without much money, they elected to use a midwife.

Having been in the military during my wife's pregnancies, I grew complacent, knowing the military system would handle it all.

Looking back, we, and many of our kin should have asked to discuss their decision with the young couple much more fully.

I guess we assumed, wrongly, that the midwife was competent, and would act correctly in a situation she could not handle.

Ohio, has no midwife statutes (according to the Internet) -- state law says nothing -- no certification, required training -- nothing.

The situation unfolded as a "breech delivery," situation.

I have discussed this with an experienced hospital nurse since then.

She said the midwife should have called 911 immediately on realizing the breech situation. 

 They should have proceeded to the nearest Emergency Room (ER).

She also said that some midwifes are connected with hospitals and thus have both advantages.

It seems clear to me that the normal ultrasound was not done in this case.

Otherwise, it seems to me, the breech situation would have been known in advance.

Wikipedia well notes the dangerousness of the breech birth situation. 

They say 3-4% of births are the breech situation. 

They say most such births are done by Caesarean in modern countries .

They say only partial success is achieved trying to turn the baby to head down.

That there is considerable risk of umbilical cord collapse with consequent lack of oxygen to the baby, with resulting brain damage, or death, to the baby.

The article discusses other dangers.

Looking back, it seems that, our failure to investigate these things and to talk to this couple more earnestly, was a mistake. 

But, there are other considerations, or viewpoint, which I will discuss in a bit.

But, I do want to say we men should not fall into the trap -- I call it the "hysterical Dad syndrome."

That is to say -- that we fathers are to be seen and not heard.

As though pregnancy and birth of our children is outside our expertise, or domain.

My wife, I half joke, must hold a record, onset of labor to delivery in 2 hours!

My first son was born on the cart halfway down the hall from the labor room to the delivery room.

In my second son's case, I WARNED THE NURSE OF THIS.

She gave me that DAMN, "now, now, Dad, calm down, routine."

My second son was born ON THE CART, HALFWAY DOWN THE HALL!

I will hand it to the nurse, SHE PUSHED THE CART WITH ONE HAND AND DELIVERED MY SON WITH THE OTHER.

In the case of my first son, I felt like objecting to the civilian hospital charging the military for use of the delivery room, when my son was born before getting to the delivery room!  We barely walked in.

I mentioned that there is another point of view for people of faith in, and, dependence on God.

The Wikipedia article noted a significantly higher occurrence of birth defects as associated with, or contributing to the breech birth situation.

We and other family members prayed diligently for the young couple's baby.

Obviously, it was not to be, THIS TIME, but we expect future times of beautiful outcomes.

God has perfect foreknowledge and knows what lies ahead for folks.

God is completely sovereign over all factors and outcomes.

God has, we must assume, good reasons for the baby's death -- he may have foreseen some bad, future, situation, that would have occured, had the baby been born, alive.

My words to the young couple, in a letter, were along these lines --  

You, and we, prayed diligently, and you did all you knew that you should do, SO.

We must trust God, that he knows what he is doing.

We must move on with our lives, putting the pain and sorrow behind.

This is not to say, that in the future, we should not do things differently.

Yes, in the future, we should put are heads together and

-- probably use regular doctors and hospitals.

We should have wealthier members of the family help with costs.

Again, I want to emphasize --

GOD GAVE HIS OWN SON TO SAVE (to Redeem, to ransom,) US SINFUL HUMAN BEINGS --

IN AN ACTUAL, REAL, SENSE, HE PAID THE HUGE PRICE, he gave his son's human life.

JOHN 3:16 SAYS:

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  (More of this passage later on)

HE KNOW WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH.

I mentioned King David's loss of a baby shortly after birth.

2 Samuel 12:23:

I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me. (More of this passage later on.)

This and other passages show that deceased children of believers ARE IN heaven.

In the New Testament book of Acts (point is their whole house was saved by them believing):

11:7: Who shall tell thee words, whereby thou and all thy house shall be saved.

16:30-32:

We believe our deceased baby daughter will be waiting for us when we get to heaven.

We buried her in Montana.

At the hospital, I had to come up with a name, in short order.

I named her April Love Clark.

The hospital staff also asked if I wanted her baptized.

I see no point in baptizing a dead body, so I said, "NO." 

The real "she," her soul, is in heaven.

I sent, by letter, this, to our young married, kinfolk, couple who lost their first baby during birth.

Jesus Christ is the only way of guaranteed, protection, from our troubles -- and especially from God's judgment day. 

See many pages on this subject at my other website CreationOutreach.com.

At the end of this section I include all of John 3 -- a major discussion of Jesus Christ with a Jewish Leader on Salvation.

But first 2 Samuel 12.

Here is much of 2 Samuel 12 (Old Testament historical book):